Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A girl should never tell

It's 2 am. Her phone beeps. 1 message received.

Him: "Asleep?"

Her: "No. What's up?"

Him: "I think I need someone to talk to."

Her: "Okay, I'm here."

And so, it begins. It goes on. She was always there for him and he was always there for her. She feels wanted, she feels happy. Him? I don't know.

Her: "I like him. I still do. Should I tell or should I not?"

1: "Do it if that's what makes you feel better."

2: "No, I don't think you should."

Her: "But, it's killing me. I just want him to know so I can stop torturing myself."

1: "Tell him then. But, be prepare for the consequences my dear."

*Beeps* 1 message received.

Him: "I think I need someone to talk to."

Her: "Meet you up for lunch."

Him: "Okay."

And so they meet. He starts pouring to her. She has said enough before thus she does not know what to say no more. She wants to console him but she does not know how to. She does not know where to begin. All of the sudden, she feels like it's the right time to tell him. How she is madly in love with him. She just wants to get it out of her chest. Hoping for nothing in return. She just wants to let it out.

Her: "I like you."

He stayed silence. Shocked, probably. But then, he smiled.

Him: "Let's take it slow."

Her: "Seriously?"

Him: "Yeah."

Her: "Seriously?"

Him: "Yeah."

Her: "Seriously?"

Him: "Yeah~~"

Her: "Okay."

She's blushing all over. She waved a sweet goodbye and went her way. She smiled the whole way just like a lunatic. She might looked weird but she does not care. She is happy. She screamed, she squealed, she jumped in joy. She was finally smiling happily. They texted. Talked like never before. Truth started coming out from her. She didn't leave one single detail. She was for the first time, being honest. No more faking her feelings. She could finally show to him how much he occupies her mind and how much she cares. She smiled the whole night just like she did the whole day. She smiled herself to sleep. Meeting up with him tomorrow. She could hardly wait. 
Morning came.

Her: "Hello, good morning."

Him: "Morning."

Her: "You wanna tell me something? What is it?"

Him: "Umm, yeah.. I don't think I should be doing this"

Her: "Why? Is it because I would only be just a rebound?"

Him: "Yeah."

Her: "Okay, I understand. Anything else you need to say?"

Him: "I'm sorry. It's better if I tell you now rather than later right? You deserve better."

Her: "Yes, it's better this way. And yes, I think I deserve better as well. I don't want to be a rebound."

Him: "Exactly."

Her: "But, do know that I can't look at you anymore. Things will be kinda weird between us. I'm still your    friend but just give it time. Okay?"

Him: "Sure."

Her: "Anything else you need to say?"

Him: "I'm sorry."

Her: "Anything else?"

Him: "No, I don't think so."

Her: "Well, okay then. Have a nice life." 

And she walked away. She cried. She smiled to hide the tears. She went back to her old self again, crying herself to sleep. It hurt her badly but she knows that it hurt him too. She knows that it was not his intention to hurt her. She knows. She understands. He was vulnerable. She shouldn't bother him with her confession. Oh, how naive she was! It was not the right time. It never will be. Now, she is left with nothing. Friendship loss and she has no clue how to fix it. 

Should she smile to him? Should she say hi? Every part of her wants to let him know that she is okay with him. She wants to stay friends. She is over that mourning phase. She wants him back. Not in a lovey way but like how they used to be. Friends. She misses that person. A person who she can talk to about anything and anytime. She misses her friend. But how should she let him know that she is alright now? How? All she do now is just look at him from afar and wished she hadn't say a word.

How she wish she could take back her confession. 





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